There were two times that stick out in my college career as being epic failures on my part. The first was early on, my freshman year, and it was in electrostatics and magnetism, a calculus-based physics class for up-and-coming engineers. When the professor passed out the test that my friends and I felt reasonably confident about taking, a silence overcame us. Our professor had a theory; he thought that the test should be harder than the homework, which should be harder than the in-class work. Mind you, the homework would take four of us about six hours to do. None of us did well on that exam because we didn’t follow the first rule of avoiding the fail:

1. Expect the Worst, and Prepare for It

If you go into a test thinking that it won’t be too bad because you nailed the easy parts of the homework, you’re bound to fail. Which part of the homework was the hardest for you? Identify it, and beat it into submission. When you start, you’ll probably get a headache, but don’t fret. The more reps you do on the hard stuff, the better prepared you’ll be for the test.

The second time I really remember bombing a test came much later, during my senior year at different college in a different major. It was the third French class of the four that I’d need to graduate. I’d done exceptionally well in the second of these French classes, and I still attribute my success in the third to my ability to coast on what I do know and downplay the stuff I don’t. The biggest problem with this class was that it was a night class. The reason that this was the biggest problem was that I had five hours to kill between classes, a good friend who a similar schedule (sans night class), and a happy hour within walking distance. We’ll take a moment to cover the second rule:

2. Save the Partying for Afterwards

Hold off on hitting sauce until after the test. In fact, keep study time dry, too. As I’ve said before, our brain’s are awesome. All other reasons that alcohol is bad for you aside, your brain sorts memories by your chemical state at the time. This sound strange, but think about it this way: You’re running from a rabid cockapoodle; your body is pumping you full of all of those fight-or-flight chemicals. You make a miraculous escape. The details of that escape might be a little fuzzy the next day, but rest assured, the next time you’re beating feet to get away from an angry dog with a ridiculous name, you’ll remember the cockapoodle incidence in HD.

Now, if you’re sloshed when you study but sober when the test rolls around, you’ll be searching for the answers less effectively than Stereotypical Frat Guy #1 pieces together memories from the party last night. Bottom line: stay clear of mind until after you’re done being academic.

What happened on the fateful night in question wasn’t out of the ordinary, I’d met my friend for a few pints, grabbed my French book, and headed to class. Sure I was a minute or two late, but things never got settled immediately in that class anyway–unless there was a test, that is. As I walked into the classroom, I felt that warm tingle that comes with sudden, painful realization. I hadn’t studied; I hadn’t done the prewriting assignment. I’d completely forgotten about this test.

3. Don’t Forget

Perhaps one of the dumbest moves anyone can make, letting the test date slip can be a surprisingly quick way to lower your grade in a class. Professors always give you advance warning of impending tests; some even set the test days before the semester begins, so you’ve had the schedule since day one. The admission that you spaced the test is a lot like looking your professor in the face and announcing that, no, in fact, you haven’t been paying even a little attention in class. Keep a day calendar; set up reminders on your computer; make lists; do whatever it takes to avoid wandering into class three minutes late smelling of beer with a “whoops, I forgot” look on your face.

Those are my top three. Other reasons you might totally bomb the test include:

• Not studying
• Studying the wrong stuff (usually a result of not studying enough)
• Hangover (see number 2 above)

Take a moment to realize, too, that odds are extremely low that your professor is out to get you. It’s safe to assume that professors don’t really like students trying to skate by without actually working, students with frequent lame excuses, and cheaters. If you can avoid one of those categories, you might just get along better with your professors, even when you disagree.