Help! My professor hates me!

From the first time your professor decides to use a lecture on the Holy Roman Empire as an excuse to relive the glory days of the '70s, you know it's going to be a long semester. Yes, as a student, you will encounter all sorts of instructors. Some excellent, some inspiring and some… well, random.

Just as there are many different types of learners, there are many different types of teachers. And that means that you can pretty well count on having at least one class in which you don't see eye to eye with the instructor. It could be an incomprehensible TA. It could be the female professor who hates men or the male professor who looks down on women. Whether you are dealing with droning lectures or a lack of support, learning to effectively deal with disagreements is a skill every student should perfect.

It only seems like your professor hates you

Okay, here's the harsh truth: The world doesn't revolve around you. It may be tempting to think that your professor is constantly mulling over your classroom contributions, contemplating the deep thoughts you shared in your midterm essay, and discerning how best to teach you the inner workings of CAD software.

Reality check. You are important, but your professor's life does not revolve around you. So if you are taking online classes and your instructor responds to your three paragraph missive with two sentences, don't take it personally. Remember, they probably woke up to a whole inbox full of messages like yours.

If you show up at office hours and your professor takes one look at you and sighs deeply, it's the same kind of scenario. Unless you are arriving daily to ask--yet again--how to add footnotes to your term paper, your professor probably doesn't harbor any ill will toward you. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that it's not you--it's them.

Find your voice

Whether you have a real or perceived problem with a professor, you need to speak up. Your education is too important to spend it stewing over what you think is improper instruction or a personal disagreement. Avoid having a discussion about your concerns immediately before or after class when other students may be around. Either attend pre-scheduled office hours or make a separate appointment. If working on an online degree, send an email or try to have a phone conversation if possible.

Of course, college instructors are human and, much like the rest of us, prone to getting defensive if someone accuses them of wrong-doing. It may be tempting to walk in to the meeting feeling indignant or obnoxious or condescending--especially if your professor is doing a pretty good impression of Doc Brown from Back to the Future. Resist the urge! Instead, frame the conversation in a way that allows your professor the opportunity help you. Try these approaches:

• "I don't understand why I am receiving Cs on my papers. Can you help me understand your scoring process better?"
• "I am having trouble following the lectures. Do you have a schedule of topics I can use to prepare for each week's class?"
• "I really want to do well in your class. Can you suggest some ways I can improve or other resources that may be helpful to me?"

The goal with these questions is to open a non-threatening dialogue that will allow you to share your concerns without putting your prof on the spot. Whatever you do, don't accuse, don't get angry and don't suggest your professor should have gone into dentistry instead of teaching because his or her lectures are a lot like getting root canals. That won't get you anywhere.

Different types of learners: Maybe you need a change of style

It may not be that your professor lacks teaching skills. It may be that his teaching skills don't match your learning skills. Different types of learners respond well to different types of teaching methods. Take a look and see which learning style fits you:

Listening learners: If you are a listening learner, you do best when someone tells you verbally what to do. Listening learners excel in lecture courses. If your instructor leans heavily on required reading for the bulk of the coursework, ask if they are any audio books available that cover the lesson materials.

Seeing learners: While listening learners like lectures, seeing learners like books. They live for diagrams, charts and any other visual cues that make learning a snap. If your prof relies solely on lectures to teach, ask about other resource materials you can use to reinforce the lectures. Some instructors might even be willing to share copies of their lecture notes if asked.

Experience learners: These are the folks that throw out the instruction manual that came with the grill and decide to put it together freestyle. If you are an experience learner, find out how you can get some hands-on time with your subject matter. For example, if you are learning a software program, clock in some extra hours in the computer lab to get a feel for how it runs.

Help your professors help you

In the end, remember that your professor might be feeling a little like Jerry Maguire. They need you to help them help you. So speak up, share your learning style and make sure you show up. For online classes, keep emails brief and to the point. Keep in mind that you are one of dozens--if not hundreds--of students this instructor is teaching. Don't expect your professors to remember everything you've done or said before.

Above all, give 'em a break. They want you to succeed just as badly as you do.

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