Culinary School Can Take the Intimidation out of Wine

"It's a naive domestic burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption." Humorist James Thurber once illustrated a cartoon with this tag line, his reaction to the jargon people use to obfuscate the real meaning of wine: enjoyment. It's easy to be intimidated by wine, especially when you're catering.

Wine: The Drink of Gods and Kings

Wine is, essentially, simple. The earliest wines were no doubt discovered by mistake. One discovery myth features a princess who had angered her father, the king. Determined to kill herself by eating poisoned (old, fermented) grapes, she instead had a rather enjoyable experience and woke to find her worldview vastly improved. When she took her discovery to her father all was forgiven anyway.

Another myth claims Roman Bacchus and Greek Dionysus were wine gods who no doubt actually brought wine to men. Bacchus was a party god, his Bacchanalia's so rowdy the Romans eventually outlawed worship of the god. But they kept the wines. And in early Egypt, carvings in tombs of pharaohs depicted wine-making in a culture where wild grapes were not indigenous, and many tombs have revealed wine jars.

Wine: The Drink of Your Catering Clients

Wine doesn't have to be complicated. Different grapes, fermented, produce different wines. Despite Thurber's teasing reference to a presumptuous little burgundy, just because you're catering a fancy meal doesn't mean you have to describe the wine with an overuse of adjectives--just say what you mean. You like it, you don't. It tastes dusty, or oakey, or clean. Most importantly, it's something you'd serve clients when catering their event.

The skills you've learned in culinary school and the basics you learned in catering classes should put you in good stead when determining what wine to serve with what meal. And if you choose to cater a good champagne at a hamburgers event, you're still considered the expert--and you might just start a new trend.

Sources

Vinbonics 101

The Origins and Ancient History of Wine

Wine History 101

San Diego Chapter National Association of Catering Executives